Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
