I wannas sexs uuuuu
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
