my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
where does the pee come out of this thing
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
