Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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