just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Dear god my vagina.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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