I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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