I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
