very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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