Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize