We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
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Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
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And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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