even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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