His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
