and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
