just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You took a bar mat shot.
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
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Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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