Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
its liver damage thursday
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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