I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Randomize
