someone owes me an orgasm
He had one of those small greek statue penises
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
