remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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