just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize