Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
