Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
