What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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