i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
