i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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