Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
