She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
