I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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