You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
