She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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