She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Boobs speak an international language.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
