Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
operation harelip BJ is a go
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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