a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
