But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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