oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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