dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize