And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
