and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
