He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
