I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize