Girls should come with a carfax report
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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