I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm too high and old for this...
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize