When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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