you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
