I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
