I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Randomize
