I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
