She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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