oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
