I feel like abortions should bother me more
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
