I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
