I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
