Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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