it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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