I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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