yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
