Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
