i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
