Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You can't special order awesome
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He has the fingertips of a God
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